Dear so and so

Dear John McCain,

How the fuck could you have picked Sarah Palin as your VP? What if you dumb asses had won the election and then you died soon thereafter? A wingnut religious zealot retard as President?!!!!! Seriously John, that was one fucked up move. She didn’t even know that Africa was a continent……..a continent for fucks sake. Africa?!!!!!! What the fuck do they teach in the Wasilla school system? Sarah Palin is one child that was totally left behind.  John, don’t ever be that stupid again.

There is only one way to repair your image and that is to oppose the religious right extremists in your party while you are still in the Senate. Get that maverick back you idiot. Throw them all under the Straight Talk Express. And do it now.


Iceberg Wedge


Dear so and so

Dear Sarah Palin,

If this was your High School yearbook this is what I would write to you (not that your bitch ass self would have asked me to sign your Moosewood High yearbook anyway….but).

Sarah Palin-future cross eyed retard

Sarah Palin-Voted most likely to be "1st place loser" in a number of competitions. Known for her catch phrase: "In what respect Charlie?"

Dear Cross Eyed Moose Hunter,

Don’t ever change. You should totally run for President in 2012. That would be awesome hilarious.

Sign me the guy at the back of geography class that laughed at you all the time for being so fucking stoopit.


Iceberg Wedge

Occasional John McCain Rumor #12

Pssst, not only does John McCain not speak to Sarah Palin much anymore, he apparently has started throwing his feces (usually has some in his diaper) at her when they are both on the “Straight Talk George Wallace Revival Express.”  Pass it on.

Dear so and so

Dear Sarah “Kill it Unless it’s Still on the Inside” Palin,

The answer to the question “are abortion clinic bombers terrorists?” is a simple yes, you stupid zealot. There is no doubt that the answer is yes. In case you have any doubt here is the dictionary definition of terrorism: The unlawful use or threatened use of force or violence by a person or an organized group against people or property with the intention of intimidating or coercing societies or governments, often for ideological or political reasons. Furthermore, a person who uses or advocates for terrorism is in fact a terrorist. End of argument.

And just to be clear, clinics where abortions are performed are typically Women’s Health Centers and provide a lot of other services besides abortion. This includes care for expecting mothers who plan on giving birth. So, when a domestic terrorist bombs a clinic they are not only endangering the lives of, in your warped perception of reality, the “guilty” who would perform and get an abortion but also the “innocent” who have no intention of getting an abortion. I’m sure you and your radical evangelical buddies would just consider this collateral damage but that is not how most of America–real and fake–see it. By the way, that is also not how Jesus or your god would see it either. So maybe besides reading the U.S. Constitution and the Bill of Rights you should also add the Bible and The Ten Commandments to your reading list (after you are done reading every paper in the world that crosses your desk of course).


Iceberg Wedge

Question: Is hate too strong a word? Answer: No!

via Ben Smith at Politico

In tonight’s NBC News interview with Brian Williams, McCain explains that the “elites” are located in D.C. and New York City:

WILLIAMS: Who is a member of the elite?

PALIN: Oh, I guess just people who think that they’re better than anyone else. And– John McCain and I are so committed to serving every American. Hard-working, middle-class Americans who are so desiring of this economy getting put back on the right track. And winning these wars. And America’s starting to reach her potential. And that is opportunity and hope provided everyone equally. So anyone who thinks that they are– I guess– better than anyone else, that’s– that’s my definition of elitism.

WILLIAMS: So it’s not education? It’s not income-based? It’s–

PALIN: Anyone who thinks that they’re better than someone else.

WILLIAMS: –a state of mind? It’s not geography?

PALIN: ‘Course not.

WILLIAMS: Senator?

MCCAIN: I– I know where a lot of ’em live. (LAUGH)

WILLIAMS: Where’s that?

MCCAIN: Well, in our nation’s capital and New York City. I’ve seen it. I’ve lived there. I know the town. I know– I know what a lot of these elitists are. The ones that she never went to a cocktail party with in Georgetown. I’ll be very frank with you. Who think that they can dictate what they believe to America rather than let Americans decide for themselves.

UPDATE: Numerous readers in those cities note that they were the targets on 9/11.

I honestly hate these people now. Hate them.  Also, shouldn’t I feel sorry for people who are that fucking stupid?

Dear so and so

Dear John McCain and Sarah Palin,

Fuck you with your “real America” bullshit. Fuck you with your “culture wars” fucktardary. Fuck you with your attempts to divide the whole country so that you might win an election. Fuck you with your cries of socialism and terrorism. Fuck you because you guys totally suck ass.

That is all I have to say to you, but I think Barack Obama was talking to you idiots and your legion of drooling wingnuts today in Richmond, VA. I have provided it here for you just in case you missed it.

Dear so and so

Dear “fellow prisoners” John, Cindy, Sarah and the rest of the McPainlin campaign,

First of all, I would just like to say a gigantic FUCK YOU! You are a the biggest bunch of assholes that I have ever seen. I am being totally serious when I say that. By the way, I know a lot of humongous assholes, fucking humongous. So fuck you, you gaggle of enormous assholes.

Secondly, I was going to write you this big, long, erudite letter about how your campaign is verging on the dangerous and perhaps even illegal (it is illegal to incite riot isn’t it?). However, I am so hopping mad that I can’t even write coherently. I just keep wanting to tell you to fuck off and then it gets worse. But here is what I have to say instead:

You are losing this campaign and you will lose the election. Not because the economy is tanking–that helped to dramatically swing the polls back in Obama’s direction–but because you guys fucking suck (I don’t buy the meme that you are losing because of the economy–I’m looking at you Pat Buchanan. I think it was already heading in that direction anyway. People were finding out that Caribou Barbie is dumber than little Trig and Old Fart McCain was being exposed as a hot headed old man that you would hate having as a neighbor much less the guy running the country.). You are clueless and your supporters are clueless. I am going to take this one step further and suggest that most of your supporters are racist, xenophobic, hate-filled, bottom-feeding morons and you and your Redumblican party have cultivated them for the past 20 or so years. Congratulations on your bumper crop of fucktards you gigantic assholes. (For the record I think my dad supports you idiots and sadly I think that means he is a fucktard. My mom however, is now an Obama supporting Democrat after almost 50 years of being a Republican. You dumb asses have ruined the GOP, so congratulations again assholes.)

So I am not sure if you assholes are aware of the economic realities right now but anyone who didn’t marry a sugar momma is having a difficult time. For instance my wife and I own a restaurant and guess what, no one is going out to eat right now. Instead they are at home–if they still have one–cleaning up the shit in their pants because they are fucking terrified of the economy (most don’t wear diapers like you John). Meanwhile, you assholes and that douche bag in the White House are no fucking help whatsoever. Instead of trying to calm us all down you have tried to do just the opposite; you have instilled panic and have incited hate. “Country First” my ass. Good job you fucking morons. (For the record, even if the restaurant goes under, my wife and I will be ok financially in the long run. It will suck but we won’t be living on the street or anything. But the same can’t be said for a number of our employees. If we close some of them may not be able to get jobs right away or even long down the road. Some have kids to take care of and medical bills to pay so no, don’t feel sorry for my wife and me, but spare a thought for those who depend on our business for their livelihood.)

Cindy, a little something for you–First of all, as a Senator your husband has given your son less support than Barrack Obama. Secondly, I would love to “change shoes with you” (is that how we are saying it now) for a day if it meant having access to your bank account (or accounts). Hell I would wear your bra and panties if I could get access to your millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars (visualizing your bra and panties just made me barf a little). That would be totally fucking awesome. Maybe I could fly in your airplane, hang out in one of your 200 homes and drive one of your 3000 cars…… So yeah I doubt that Barack wants or needs to “change shoes” with you but there are probably close to 300 million American’s who wouldn’t mind.

You guys all used to be pretty funny and now you just scare the shit out of me. You all need to shut the fuck up.


Iceberg Wedge

P.S. For Sarah–I know you think you “get your reward in heaven” but that doesn’t mean that you get to act like a giant cunt here on earth.