Occasional John McCain rumor #10

Pssst, John McCain is in the beginning stages of alzheimer’s and poops his diapers at least three times a day. Pass it on.

Also, by his own standards he is now a “trollop and a cunt.”


Dear so and so

Dear “fellow prisoners” John, Cindy, Sarah and the rest of the McPainlin campaign,

First of all, I would just like to say a gigantic FUCK YOU! You are a the biggest bunch of assholes that I have ever seen. I am being totally serious when I say that. By the way, I know a lot of humongous assholes, fucking humongous. So fuck you, you gaggle of enormous assholes.

Secondly, I was going to write you this big, long, erudite letter about how your campaign is verging on the dangerous and perhaps even illegal (it is illegal to incite riot isn’t it?). However, I am so hopping mad that I can’t even write coherently. I just keep wanting to tell you to fuck off and then it gets worse. But here is what I have to say instead:

You are losing this campaign and you will lose the election. Not because the economy is tanking–that helped to dramatically swing the polls back in Obama’s direction–but because you guys fucking suck (I don’t buy the meme that you are losing because of the economy–I’m looking at you Pat Buchanan. I think it was already heading in that direction anyway. People were finding out that Caribou Barbie is dumber than little Trig and Old Fart McCain was being exposed as a hot headed old man that you would hate having as a neighbor much less the guy running the country.). You are clueless and your supporters are clueless. I am going to take this one step further and suggest that most of your supporters are racist, xenophobic, hate-filled, bottom-feeding morons and you and your Redumblican party have cultivated them for the past 20 or so years. Congratulations on your bumper crop of fucktards you gigantic assholes. (For the record I think my dad supports you idiots and sadly I think that means he is a fucktard. My mom however, is now an Obama supporting Democrat after almost 50 years of being a Republican. You dumb asses have ruined the GOP, so congratulations again assholes.)

So I am not sure if you assholes are aware of the economic realities right now but anyone who didn’t marry a sugar momma is having a difficult time. For instance my wife and I own a restaurant and guess what, no one is going out to eat right now. Instead they are at home–if they still have one–cleaning up the shit in their pants because they are fucking terrified of the economy (most don’t wear diapers like you John). Meanwhile, you assholes and that douche bag in the White House are no fucking help whatsoever. Instead of trying to calm us all down you have tried to do just the opposite; you have instilled panic and have incited hate. “Country First” my ass. Good job you fucking morons. (For the record, even if the restaurant goes under, my wife and I will be ok financially in the long run. It will suck but we won’t be living on the street or anything. But the same can’t be said for a number of our employees. If we close some of them may not be able to get jobs right away or even long down the road. Some have kids to take care of and medical bills to pay so no, don’t feel sorry for my wife and me, but spare a thought for those who depend on our business for their livelihood.)

Cindy, a little something for you–First of all, as a Senator your husband has given your son less support than Barrack Obama. Secondly, I would love to “change shoes with you” (is that how we are saying it now) for a day if it meant having access to your bank account (or accounts). Hell I would wear your bra and panties if I could get access to your millions and millions and millions and millions of dollars (visualizing your bra and panties just made me barf a little). That would be totally fucking awesome. Maybe I could fly in your airplane, hang out in one of your 200 homes and drive one of your 3000 cars…… So yeah I doubt that Barack wants or needs to “change shoes” with you but there are probably close to 300 million American’s who wouldn’t mind.

You guys all used to be pretty funny and now you just scare the shit out of me. You all need to shut the fuck up.


Iceberg Wedge

P.S. For Sarah–I know you think you “get your reward in heaven” but that doesn’t mean that you get to act like a giant cunt here on earth.

Occasional John McCain Rumor #9

I am currently working on a few posts about the new lows in Presidential campaigning that the McStain’s have achieved in the last week.  It is taking a while to write because I am so pissed off right now about all of this.  In the mean time, I thought I should let you in on a John McCain rumor that I heard the other day:

Pssst, John McCain likes Cindy to give it to him in the ass with a gigantic strap on dildo.  He also makes her wear an Osama Bin Laden mask and call him an “American Pig.”  Pass it on.

Spoiled rich cracker lady update

I have it on good authority that despite reports to the contrary, Cindy “spoiled rich cracker lady” McCain actually did meet Mother Teresa. And Cindy punched her in the face with her one good arm (she has one good arm, right?).

Cindy McCain hates touching you

The truth about Cindy’s injured arm? She isn’t injured at all, she just can’t stand being touched by the commoners any more.