Occasional John McCain Rumor #12

Pssst, not only does John McCain not speak to Sarah Palin much anymore, he apparently has started throwing his feces (usually has some in his diaper) at her when they are both on the “Straight Talk George Wallace Revival Express.”  Pass it on.

What’s the difference/Occasional John McCain Rumor #11

What’s the difference between John McCain and Trig Palin………. about 72 years.

Pssst, I think I was wrong yesterday about John McCain having alzheimer’s, I think he actually has a brain problem. In other words I think he is a high functioning moron (thanks Paul Begala). Pass it on.

I know I used it yesterday but I have to use it again because it is just too fucking funny and clear evidence of McCain’s mental deficiency.  I will embed it today:

Occasional John McCain rumor #10

Pssst, John McCain is in the beginning stages of alzheimer’s and poops his diapers at least three times a day. Pass it on.

Also, by his own standards he is now a “trollop and a cunt.”

Occasional John McCain Rumor #9

I am currently working on a few posts about the new lows in Presidential campaigning that the McStain’s have achieved in the last week.  It is taking a while to write because I am so pissed off right now about all of this.  In the mean time, I thought I should let you in on a John McCain rumor that I heard the other day:

Pssst, John McCain likes Cindy to give it to him in the ass with a gigantic strap on dildo.  He also makes her wear an Osama Bin Laden mask and call him an “American Pig.”  Pass it on.

This just in: McCain being held hostage

Republican Presidential Nominee John McCain is Being Held Hostage by John McCain

It is being reported today that John McCain was taken hostage by John McCain sometime during Wednesday night. John McCain is holding John McCain in a location which campaign officials authorities have asked us not to disclose. The location is thought to be a place where the Democratic Process is suspended indefinitely due to a continual state of “9/11.” “I will hold John McCain hostage until such time that the polls swing back in my favor in this election” said John McCain while holding a gun to John McCain’s chest (his arms can’t go any higher). “Even if it takes a hundred years or a thousand I will not release John McCain until the Palin…err..umm…McCain/Palin ticket is capable of winning this election. I know how to win elections and I will take John McCain to the gates of hell if that is what it takes to win this election.” John McCain then added “What time is it? 9am? No wonder we’re so sleepy, we’ve been up for two whole hours John. John McCain and I are going to take our nap now so get off our lawn.”

Nothing was heard from either John McCain for over two hours until 11:21am when a phone call was made to Secret Service headquarters in Washington D.C. Apparently one of the John McCain’s requested that adult diapers be provided for the other John McCain.

Occasional John McCain rumor #8

Pssst, John McWanderingshortarms has a crush on Levi.  Pass it on.

Occasional John McCain rumor #7

Pssst, John McCain has wooden dentures.  Pass it on.