No you don’t…..continued

“So you want to open a restaurant….no you don’t” continues with a few brief observations.

“Restaurant owner” is just another way of saying “cheap labor.” Recently I have become the full time janitor at my restaurant. It is a long story but lets just say I am mopping floors and cleaning toilets again. It had been a few decades since I was doing that sort of shit but here I am trying to save us a few bucks by picking up cleaning duties. I have previously remarked on how totally fucked up your bathroom habits are in an earlier post. Now that I am the head janitor I can confirm more clearly how pathetic you really are when it comes to going to the fucking toilet…..especially my toilet.

Now everyone knows that the dudes have a problem with the toilet seat; put it up they forget to put it back down, leave it down they piss all over it like it’s on fucking fire or something. Everyone knows that about dudes. But let’s talk about chicks man. Ladies, ladies, ladies, if you are going to “hang glide” you have got to work on your mother fucking aim with that thing of yours. I know it ain’t no hose and it just kind of sprays everywhere but seriously you make the biggest fucking mess of all. Plus, you have all that lady plumbing stuff going on. Which, by the way, the Health Department requires us to have a separate trash can with a lid on it for. Then you go and still just toss that shit in the toilet or in the regular lidless can like everyone really wants to see that bloody mess while they are having their goddamn dinner. So ladies, I hate to be the one to break it to you but you are ten times as dirty in the bathroom as the dudes. The good news for you is that you have an excuse, sort of, what with your monthly visitor and the lack of hose apparatus. So dudes don’t get all superior acting and shit because we are built for good aim and we don’t menstruate so we have no excuse. All and all, both the girls and the boys need to work on their fucking toilet technique. Take it from a restaurant owner janitor you all suck ass when it comes to using my restrooms….tbc

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