This just in: One Billion People Turn Out to See Palin Stroke a Giant Tube of Lipstick

One Billion People Turn Out to See Sarah Palin Stroke a Giant Oversized Tube of Lipstick

According to the Palin/McCain campaign, one billion people turned out to see Sarah Palin in The Villages, Florida this past Sunday. This new estimate came after conflicting reports came out yesterday. The Palin/McCain camp put the crowd at 60,000 while local media and officials said it was closer to 25,000. “It is obvious that we underestimated just how many people came out to see Sarah” said a campaign official on Tuesday morning. “Sunday was the first time that Sarah was seen with the giant oversized tube of lipstick and this was an obvious draw for millions of people. We now estimate, actually it is entirely accurate, that there was just over one billion people in The Villages on Sunday.”

The campaign had Sarah Palin fondle an oversized tube of lipstick, to the strains of the Billy Squire song The Stroke, instead of giving the same speech for the sixty-seventh time since the RNC convention (Billy Squire is suing the campaign for its unauthorized use of his song).

Stroke the lipstick, stroke

stroke the lipstick, stroke it

After stroking the rabid crowd into a lipstick induced frenzy she then applied the hot pink rouge to her own lips. After which she did the same to a full grown pig. Palin then hoisted the pig onto her shoulders, for all to see, and the billion strong throng went wild. Sarah then put the lipstick laden pig back on the stage and proceeded to shoot it in the face with her moose hunting rifle.

The pig just before being shot in the face.

The pig just before being shot in the face.

She then tore the still warm carcass apart with her bare hands and fed the pig flesh to the hungry masses.

See Related Stories:

Florida Most Populous Place On The Planet For a Day; Rest Of World Depopulated

The Villages, Florida Fire Marshall Still Puts Crowd Estimate At Around 25,000 Even After Being Threatened With a Giant Oversized Tube Of Lipstick

Hundreds Infected with Trichinosis In The Villages, Florida

(lipstick stroking Palin pic via Rumproast who got it from the Orlando Sentinel)

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One Response

  1. Wow. I’ve never thought of lipstick being a phallic symbol before.

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