This just in: Sarah Palin has been hospitalized

It was reported late this evening that Sarah Palin has been hospitalized due to what is being called an ocular tragedy. “While she was enduring ‘enhanced interrogation’ at a mock POW camp she refused to blink her eyelids” stated an unnamed doctor overseeing Palin’s interrogation. “This led to her ocular organs drying out almost completely. As she was being taken away to the hospital she was physically incapable of closing her eyes because they had dried open. Even if she had wanted to shut them, which she didn’t, she could not have.” The doctor then added “it’s a shame and a tragedy…an ocular tragedy.”

“What I find shocking about all of this is that she was back in that damned mock POW camp” said the ambulance driver after delivering Sarah Palin to the emergency room. “She was just so sharp with that Gibson fellow on the tv the other night I figured she was done with gaining the necessary presidential POW experience.”

It is now thought that she will be held prisoner until the November 4th election except for when she appears on Fox News programs. The McCain/Palin campaign is currently trying to have the vice presidential debate canceled due to it being sexist and elitist.

Karl Rove perhaps summed it up best when he said “I think the real tragedy here is that after 48 hours of interrogation she was just coming around to understanding what the Bush Doctrine is and now I fear she may never get it. In any respect.” He then added “well that and she may be blind for the rest of her life….but she was this close to getting it, damn her unblinking eyes!”


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