Dear John McCain,
I thought it was kind of quaint when you said “I know how to win wars” considering you have never been a part of winning one. But I really began to wonder what the fuck you were talking about when you said you knew how to get Osama Bin Laden the other night at Saddleback Church. And to make it worse you have made this claim before. So John I have a few questions for you. First, if you know how to capture Osama Bin Laden why the fuck haven’t you told anyone about this yet? For instance, maybe you could tell the dumb ass who is on vacation in Texas (for like the 500th something day of his Presidency). Perhaps someone at the Pentagon? Or even tell your former captors in Vietnam that you keep mentioning all. the. fucking. time. Just tell fucking someone because while you are napping in the back of the No Talk Express our men and women in Afghanistan are getting killed looking for that asshole. Secondly, if you really do know how to find him why the fuck do you have to “go to the gates of hell” to do it? If you do go there could you do us a favor and get Bin Laden in a headlock with your one good arm (do you have a good arm?) and keep going right on through those gates.
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