“So you want to open a restaurant? No you don’t” continues with all the crap you will have to put up with from people who have no idea.
Customers, strangers and everyone else who has no idea
And everyone thinks you’re a big fucking chef and that it is glamorous and they are intimidated to cook for you and it is a bunch of garbage because you have pretty wide tastes and are impressed with just about anything which someone else cooks for you partly because you are just happy you didn’t have to cook it but mostly because anyone who actually makes the effort to cook can come up with something nice to eat…just not everyone can work in or own a restaurant and truth be told they shouldn’t, it just isn’t for most people, end of…
Everyone has a recipe or a favorite thing they or their mom makes that they just have to give to you…”would you like that?” No I wouldn’t fucking like that, I didn’t open a restaurant to cook your fucking family recipes you idiot… And then you take a night off or even go on vacation and people are like “whose running the restaurant?” “are you closed tonight?” Yeah right, like we are going to close down just because we want a day off and if we did set it up so the place couldn’t run without us we would be really fucked…yeah sure we would save some money but then we could never take a moment off ever and tell me what is the more foolish; to hire good people and pay them a decent wage and take some time off once and a while or work every waking moment of everyday you are open and go fucking bonkers? And trust me you aren’t making any money either way in the first couple of years unless you get lucky or some how everything came together just right–food, press, reviews, location. We all die in the end but I just can’t see the point of trying to hasten it by working yourself to death……
Or your friends or colleagues come in on a busy night and are therefore convinced you are doing really well and must be making money hand over fucking fist..or they hear that we grossed a few hundred thousand dollars in our first year and they think “my god they must be rolling in it” and the truth is after cost of goods and payroll, payroll taxes, income tax (as if we had any income), rent, property taxes, equipment replacement, waste/spoilage, electric, gas, water, window washing (very cheap), hood cleaning, grease trap cleaning, licenses, sanitation, straws, bev naps, to go bags, to go containers, pots and pans, strainers, knives, spatulas, hotel pans, exterminators, refrigeration repair, all the fucking things that needed to be fixed from the previous owners because they were cheap bastards, electricians, plumbers (oh god plumbers), comps, car rental, dishes, glasses, dishwasher machine rental, new robot coupe, kitchen aid mixer, soda gun rental, upkeep, insurance (multiple kinds), linens, uniforms, phone/fax/internet bill, cable (have to watch soccer), toilet paper, c-folds (stop throwing them in the toilet you assholes), soap, brooms, mops, metal scouring pads, green scrubbies, bleach, bleach buckets, paint, curtains, floor mats/rugs, two screen doors, liquid nails, spray foam, bug spray, water pumps (because every time it rains the basement fucking floods), hoses, plants, flowers, flower pots, fence for the garden, fucking clogs etc. etc………So after all that we came up with a huge negative number and that isn’t including startup costs, purchasing of the business, remodeling or lease deposit!
Or people want to talk about food food food as if you are really that fucking interested after being neck deep in it for every waking moment since the day you decided to open a restaurant which you should have never done in the first place and certainly not with your own money…. I mean fuck, are you stupid?
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